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Wednesday, November 30, 2005
I am sad....i mean really sad! Just browse through all my friends's blog. It seems that they are having a great life now. I dont mean that my life sucks, but i am not fully satisfied! I have my bubbly clique, lovely friends all around me, but i do miss my life in secondary! We are closer then and i am much more able to just have a chit-chat session with them, whereby we talked about almost everything. But in JC, there's some hold-back. Somethings i simply have to hesitate before saying out loud. That feeling just sux alright! I figured out that that's call LIFE! Everyone has to grow up eventually and you cant wish that you will be forever 16. I miss miss miss my friends! My 7 girlfriends, the 3 mad women, everyone and him. I hope he's resting well now. I want to talk to someone! But seriously i have no idea whom to talk to. Dammit! I feel like cursing!!!
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Haiz...this is really sad man..how can a young, full of nonsense and energetic guy passed away...and it's simply too sudden. When i was told of the news, i just couldnt believe it...i mean...he was perfectly fine the last time i saw him..and it's not even a few months...i went to his funeral and yea...the place was peaceful and perfectly suitable. Anyway, his look's remained the same...but it's really unbelieveable that he was lying there. I recalled when i heard that he's in hospital on sunday evening due to the bursting of his blood vessels in his brain, i was like..what the heck? Is that a joke or something...i really thought that they were playing a prank on me, but well, it turned out otherwise. I thought of visiting him at TTS hospital after my AO MT, well, i never had a chance to cuz he passed away at around 6.30am in the morning. It's really disheartening! I hope and wish that he is happy and peaceful there. Cuz i heard that his last words to his mummy was :'' Mummy, my head is gonna burst!" Imagine how terrible he felt...i guess in some way, it's a way of relief to him. Take good care, my dear Zhi Xiang...i never forget the promise we made to each other when i was really down that time and you said it to cheer me up. it's really sweet of you and i never regret knowing you. It's horrible that now i have no one to cheer me up and share my joys and troubles. It's fate that you left us at such a young age, but i know that yr god will bring you to a even better world. I will always pray for you. 31/10/2005
Surprisingly, i didnt cry at the funeral. I guess i am immune to these kind of departure situation. After my great grandma, i hadnt cried over a friend or relationship other than acadamic. But i think it's bcuz i dont wish to show my weakness once again in front of my ex classmates. It's a bitter and sweet year in 2004, and i have put up a good show without crying. I passed my courage test...
After more than half a year, i finally saw him...it's nice to see him again, though all the memories just kept flashing back. I really wanna smile at him or at least said a "Hi" or something. However, under this kind of circumstances, i figured that it's inapproriate. So, i missed the chance again. The first day of the funeral, when i saw him, he changed slightly, but i didnt really looked at him cuz i was unsure whether i should or not. Anyway, after we left, Wan Xian and i went to Mac and talked for quite a long time. It's really pleasant to have someone to talked to..particularly on that day. I missed him, but not as much as the first few months when we broke up. On wed, which is actually the last day i am gonna ever see Zhi Xiang again, i really prayed hard that he's well. Once again, i didnt talked to him, though several times i caught us glancing at each other, but other that that, ZIP! Nothing. I couldnt bother much either cuz i was due for an appointment at Alexdandra Hospital, thank god my eyes isnt anything serious but just somekind of infection. Oh well, i guess it's probably gonna be a long time before i see him again. Saw his blog and that he's sad..i can imagine that cuz he's like one of his best friend. But well, life still has to go on isnt it? Dont be too sad everyone...i believe he's happy now....
Shall update on some cheery news. I made a new spec this afternoon! It's red colour and seems rather cool to me. A new spec = a new me! Hahaz! =) so everybody cheer up! There's always something to do rather than brooding over sad matters!
To that particular guy, it's really shocking man...i always treat you as a friend, nothing more...so do treat me back as a friend too...
ABOUTS
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